It was like any other room that 12-step programs use. A couple dozen hard folding chairs arranged so that everyone had a good view of the podium. There was a small table with a large coffee pot along one wall. As I walked in I noticed that there were only about half of the chairs occupied. People were spread out so that no one was really close enough for them to talk to each other. That was not why they were here. Eventually someone would get up and talk but not as a one on one type of thing. They were here to admit that they had a weakness of some kind and perhaps to get help to overcome it.
This was my first visit to this particular group although I had been to several Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. And I figured this was probably something similar. When the big hand was straight up and the little hand was on the eight someone would walk to the microphone and announce they were ready to start. I imagined that then someone would also offer some type of prayer or benediction, probably the "Serenity Prayer". And then one by one people would offer their confessions of stupidity. After a couple hours the meeting would break up and folks might congregate into twos or three and say to each other how much they needed to get these things off their chest.
I studied the group and was surprised when I noticed that a woman sat all alone in the far back row. She was as far from the podium as she could get and I wondered what her purpose in being here was. I thought some about walking back and asking her but just then the microphone came alive and I figured that I best find a seat before I stood out like a sore thumb. After all I was not here to share. I was only here to listen and record.
A tall thin man was tapping on the end of the microphone to get people's attention and only when most everyone was quiet and looking directly at him did he begin to speak. "I want to welcome each of you here tonight and we will get started in just a few minutes, however I do need to ask someone to leave first. Marcie I see you in the back corner. You know this is a closed meeting to members of the female sex. Would you please make this easy on everyone and vacate the meeting room?"
Everyone in the room was looking back over their shoulders in anticipation of what was to come next. After what was a definite pregnant pause the woman rose from her seat but made no effort to walk towards the exit. I studied her dress and demeanor and I could see that she was perhaps a little overdressed for this type of occasion but not so much that she seemed totally out of place. She wore a plain cotton dress that came down below her knees and buttoned high on her neck, not showing anymore skin than what would be appropriate. Her hair was done up in a bun in back and she wore a string of large pearls around her neck. I could not see what she was wearing on her feet but I assumed they were probably flats from the fact that she was standing very firmly in place with her feet together. If she had worn shoes with much of a heel she probably would have had to distribute her weight outward to maintain her posture. She wore a minimum of makeup although you could tell her lips were a little pinker than if she wore no lipstick. In all she was very attractive but not so much so that she was trying to attract anyone and I wondered why the speaker was so adamant on her leaving.
Finally she spoke. "Bill we have been over this before. I have just as much right to be here as any other member of this group. How do you know that I do not have something worthwhile to contribute?"
"Because you are a woman. That is why. How do you expect these men to open up and share their experiences if one of the people responsible for their miseries is in the room?"
"I don't remember you having any problem talking to me when we were married. I am not leaving this room until I am good and ready. You could call the police if you wanted but I think you know they would not respond. We have been through that farce before. Now why don't you get on with the meeting? Maybe I will contribute, maybe not.
I had to admire her she had spunk. I made it a point that when the meeting was over I would spend some time with her.
Bill looked like he knew he was whipped, but then from her comment about them being married at one time I figured this was not the first time he had been whipped by this woman and probably literally. "Alright settle down everyone. I guess we will just have to ignore Marci and go on as if she isn't here. Let's start with the serenity prayer."
I bowed my head not out of respect but rather just so I didn't stand out from the rest of the worshipers. I had heard the words hundreds of times before so I didn't bother listening closely. I was just happy that it was a short prayer so we could get on with what we were here for.
When it was over and a chorus of amens was uttered, Bill again spoke to the group. I notice a few new faces tonight would any of you like to stand up and introduce yourselves?" He tried to avoid looking directly at anyone particular person's face but for some reason his gaze seemed to fall directly on mine. So I decided that I would draw less attention by doing as he asked than by trying to avoid the issue.
I rose to my feet and said. "Hi, my name is Jack." To which I got a chorus of "Hi, Jack." And I was grateful that we were not in an airport or a bus terminal. "I am just here to observe tonight being my first night and all. Perhaps I may share another time." And I sat down without looking to the right or left.
"Alright then." Bill spoke. "Who would like to share something with the group?"
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