Here is a small sample from one of my books. If you find it interesting the complete book
is available on Amazon.Com for the Kindle Store. Here is the direct link:
Cuckold's Anonymous
It was like any other room that 12-step programs use. A couple dozen hard folding chairs arranged
so that everyone had a good view of the podium. There was a small table with a large coffee pot along one
wall. As I walked in I noticed that
there were only about half of the chairs occupied. People were spread out so that no one was really close enough for
them to talk to each other. That was
not why they were here. Eventually
someone would get up and talk but not as a one on one type of thing. They were here to admit that they had a
weakness of some kind and perhaps to get held to overcome it.
This was my first visit to this particular group although I
had been to several alcoholics anonymous meetings. And I figured this was probably something similar. When the big hand was straight up and the
little hand was on the eight someone would walk to the microphone and announce
they were ready to start. I imagined
that then someone would also offer some type of prayer or benediction, probably
the "Serenity Prayer". And
then one by one people would offer their confessions of stupidity. After a couple hours the meeting would break
up and folks might congregate into twos or three and say to each other how much
they needed to get these things off their chest.
I studied the group and was surprised when I noticed that a
woman sat all alone in the far back row.
She was as far from the podium as she could get and I wondered what her
purpose in being here was. I thought
some about walking back and asking her but just then the microphone came alive
and I figured that I best find a seat before I stood out like a sore
thumb. After all I was not here to
share. I was only here to listen and
record.
A tall thin man was tapping on the end of the microphone to
get people's attention and only when most everyone was quiet and looking
directly at him did he begin to speak.
"I want to welcome each of you here tonight and we will get started
in just a few minutes, however I do need to ask someone to leave first. Marcie I see you in the back corner. You know this is a closed meeting to members
of the female sex. Would you please
make this easy on everyone and vacate the meeting room?"
Everyone in the room was looking back over their shoulders
in anticipation of what was to come next.
After what was a definite pregnant pause the woman rose from her seat
but made no effort to walk towards the exit.
I studied her dress and demeanor and I could see that she was perhaps a little
overdressed for this type of occasion but not so much that she seemed totally
out of place. She wore a plain cotton
dress that came down below her knees and buttoned high on her neck, not showing
anymore skin than what would be appropriate.
Her hair was done up in a bun in back and she wore a string of large
pearls around her neck. I could not see
what she was wearing on her feet but I assumed they were probably flats from
the fact that she was standing very firmly in place with her feet together. If she had worn shoes with much of a heel
she probably would have had to distribute her weight outward to maintain her
posture. She wore a minimum of makeup
although you could tell her lips were a little pinker than if she wore no
lipstick. In all she was very
attractive but not so much that she was trying to attract anyone and I wondered
why the speaker was so adamant on her leaving.
Finally she spoke.
"Bill we have been over this before. I have just as much right to be here as any other member of this
group. How do you know that I do not
have something worthwhile to contribute?"
"Because you are a woman. That is why. How do you
expect these men to open up and share their experiences if one of the people
responsible for their miseries is in the room?"
"I don't remember you having any problem talking to me
when we were married. I am not leaving
this room until I am good and ready.
You could call the police if you wanted but I think you know they would
not respond. We have been through that
farce before. Now why don't you get on
with the meeting? Maybe I will
contribute, maybe not.
I had to admire her she had spunk. I made it a point that when the meeting was over I would spend
some time with her.
Bill looked like he knew he was whipped, but then from her
comment about them being married at one time I figured this was not the first
time he had been whipped by this woman and probably literally. "Alright settle down everyone. I guess we will just have to ignore Marci
and go on as if she isn't here. Let's
start with the serenity prayer."
I bowed my head not out of respect but rather just so I
didn't stand out from the rest of the worshippers. I had heard the words hundreds of times before so I didn't bother
listening closely. I was just happy that
it was a short prayer so we could get on with what we were here for.
When it was over and a chorus of amens was uttered, Bill
again spoke to the group. I notice a
few new faces tonight would any of you like to stand up and introduce
yourselves?" He tried to avoid
looking directly at anyone particular person's face but for some reason his
gaze seemed to fall directly on mine.
So I decided that I would draw less attention by doing as he asked than
by trying to avoid the issue.
I rose to my feet and said.
"Hi, my name is Jack."
To which I got a chorus of "Hi, Jack." And I was grateful that we were not in an
airport or a bus terminal. "I am
just here to observe tonight being my first night and all. Perhaps I may share
another time." And I sat down without
looking to the right or left.
"Alright then."
Bill spoke. "Who would like
to share something with the group?"
A Few of the Stories
Everyone looked around and shortly a short pudgy man stood
up from near the middle of the room and made his way towards the podium and
microphone. "Most of you know
me." He began. "My name is Roger and I am a
cuckold."
"Hi, Roger."
Was the refrain from almost everyone's voice.
Roger then launched into his tale of woe. From what I could gather he was no longer
living with the woman that had turned him into a cuckold. But I guessed that once a cuckold, always a
cuckold. Roger related to the group how
hard it was to continue with life once he had made up his mind to leave his
cheating wife. She didn't allow him to
take much with him and he had very little funds of his own so he was living in
a shelter for battered men although he did not describe exactly what she had
done to batter him.
This was pretty dull stuff for me. I wished he would elaborate a little bit about how he came to
become a cuckold. I really didn't care
how hard life was for him once he had committed to leaving the life. And I imagined that because of the rules
against sharing things that were said in the room, there was probably only one
person I would be able to get that story from unless Roger was willing to tell
me himself. I was glad when he finally
sat down and another man took his place.
The next man up was someone that I would not have figured to
be sharing in this group. He was about
six-foot four and weighed perhaps 220 pounds and it did not look like any of
that weight was fat. He wore a
short-sleeved shirt and you could tell that his arms were solid muscle and he
had a neck the size of a small bull.
His face was so overly handsome that he could have literally taken his
pick of most any woman he wanted. So I
was anxious to hear how he came to be in this group.
"Hi my name is Phil and I am a cuckold. " And of course he had to wait for the
obligatory "Hi Phil." to be tossed back at him. "This is my first time here and so I
guess I need to share a little background with you before I get to where I am
now. I got married a little more than
ten years ago to what I thought at the time was the sweetest most loving woman
in the world. I am sure many of you
know what I mean when I say that I loved her so much that I would do anything
for her. And truthfully I still would
if she would have me back.
Well everything went along very well for the first few
years. We planned on having children
and we really tried but nothing seemed to work. And then we went to a fertility doctor to try and find out what
the problem was. Well, it turned out
that I was sterile. They could not tell
exactly why but the problem was definitely with my low sperm count. So we talked about various other options like
adoption or perhaps artificial insemination.
But Charlotte didn't like either of those choices. She wanted the child to be of her own flesh
and blood so adoption was out and she wanted to be able to choose a donor that
she knew and was comfortable with. And
of course she reminded me that the infertility problem was not her fault but
mine. Of course I tried to reason with
her and show her that what she wanted was not possible within the confines of a
true marriage. We had many knock down
drag out fights about the subject until finally she seemed to let it
drop." He hesitated at that point
apparently trying to decide how much more he wanted to confide to a group of
total strangers. But sometimes it is
easier to talk with strangers than friends and family and he went on.
"Well, we had a uneasy truce for a couple of years but
we grew further and further apart. We
still had sex but more and more infrequently.
And the actual act took less and less time. And then she started going out with the "girls". At first it was once a month for lunch and
then twice a month for dinner and a movie and then it was once a week and she
didn't bother to tell me where they were going or what they were doing. I wasn't suspicious at first but then she
changed the way she was dressing to go out.
In the beginning she wore just casual clothes, jeans and a blouse with
normal everyday flat-soled shoes. Then
dresses replaced the jeans, the blouses became more revealing and the shoes
became fuck me pumps. You know what I
mean, shoes with heels so high that if you fell off of them you would kill
yourself. She had not dressed that sexily since the first year of our marriage.
Then she got all dolled up one Friday night. She was wearing a skirt so short that I
could tell she was wearing garters and not pantyhose and her blouse was so
sheer that I could see she was not wearing a bra and I could plainly see her
nipples through the material. I tried
to say something to her about how she was dressed but she just blew me a kiss
and walked out the door. "Don't
wait up." She yelled as she closed
the door.
I had a few drinks and watched a little television and
finally curiosity got the better of me so I went up to our bedroom and started
going through her drawers. They were
full of lingerie that I had never seen before.
It looked like she had been spending hours shopping at Victoria's
Secrets. I knew she had not bought the
stuff for me so I became suspicious as to exactly who she was showing it
to. Well, she did not come home that
night or the next night. The next time
I saw her was late Sunday afternoon and she looked like she had been rode hard
and put away wet.
I confronted her and demanded to know exactly where she had
been, whom she was with and what they were doing. Her answer was to tell me that I didn't want to know and that she
was tired and was going to clean up and go to bed and she would appreciate it
if I would move into the guest room so that I did not disturb her sleep.
Well the move into the guest room became permanent. I did not know for sure that she had taken a
lover but all the signs were there and so I hired a private investigator to
find out for sure.
The next weekend came and again she got all dressed up and
left the house early Friday night.
Again I did not see her until Sunday afternoon and again she refused to
talk with me about where she had gone or what she was doing. But by then I already knew. The investigator had followed her when she
left the house and reported to me that she had met with my best friend at a
motel where she stayed in a room with him for the entire weekend. He even managed to get some pictures of her
through the window of the two of them kissing like newlyweds."
At that point he seemed to lose control and a few tears
started to fall from his eyes. When it
became obvious that he would not be able to continue with his narrative Bill
asked for someone else to share and it began all over with another man named
Fred.
I started to tune him out because from attending a few
alcoholics anonymous meetings, I figured all the stories would be similar with
each progressive one trying to beat out the one that went before it. And then I heard Fred say, "I am here
because of my own stupidity." And
that got my interest fairly quickly.
"What I mean by that," Fred continued, "is
the whole thing was of my making. I had
this foolish idea in my head that it would be really exciting watching my wife
with another man. I don't know if I got
the idea from surfing the wrong sites on the Internet or if I was surfing those
sites because I had the idea in the back of my mind and wanted to explore the
idea. In any event in almost every
instance of Internet fantasy everything worked out for the best for the
couple. The woman always had a
wonderful time enjoying the benefits of having a lover on the side and the
husband was ecstatic just being allowed to watch or sometimes participate. In the end everyone was happy.
So I broached the subject with my wife and her reaction was
that I should immediately seek psychiatric help since I had obviously lost my
mind. But dear, I reasoned have you
never had fantasies about being with another man, maybe someone younger than
me, someone with a stomach like a washboard, someone with a cock like a
stallion?
"Well when you put it like that, how could I not be
interested? So why don't you run right
out and bring one like that back to me.
But keep in mind I am not settling for two out of three." And then she laughed and walked away,
probably to find the number to the nearest loony bin.
I should have been intelligent enough to let the matter lie
but obviously intelligence is not my strong suit. But I did let it lie for a while but I kept surfing the Internet
and garnering more and more ideas of how wonderful it would be to see my wife
writhing under another man moaning because she was being stretched wider and
deeper than I could possibly accomplish.
Now isn't that just the dumbest thing you have ever heard? Well probably not because I would bet
dollars to donuts that the vast majority of you sitting here tonight started
out exactly the same way." And
then from the back corner of the room came a noise of two hands being slapped
together in complete agreement.
Fred halted his narration and looked back to where Marcie
was now standing up and almost cheering.
"I would be glad to relinquish the floor to the lady if she would
care to come forward and share what is on her mind."
And to that Bill put the kibosh in a hurry. "No, Fred, you continue with your
story. Marcie sit down and be quiet or
so help me God I will have you forcibly removed from this meeting. This is my last warning."
"Oh shut up Bill.
You couldn't control me when we were married, what makes you think you
can control me now. You know that Fred
was entirely right, everyone of you wimps are here because you started a ball
rolling that you weren't man enough to stop.
Most of your wives did not go out and decide to find a lover although
they probably should have. Most of you
pushed them into someone else's arms and then was surprised when they preferred
the other man or maybe in some cases another woman. So, Bill sit yourself down and let Fred continue with his story. It is too bad that the media is not here so
they could record it for posterity. Go
ahead Fred, continue."
And I smiled inwardly and then Fred started his story again.
"I think all of you know that Marcie is right. I should have left it alone but I was
thinking with my little head and not my big one and every time I thought of my
wife with another man my little head began to swell and my big head began to
contract. So I kept pushing and
plotting and conniving, trying to make something happen that would eventually
prove disastrous to my marriage. I am
not going to bore you with the details but I will say this any husband that
thinks bringing another sexual partner into the marriage will improve things,
better think again."
He put down the microphone and walked back to his seat and
again Marcie was applauding him as he went.
I was almost beginning to think that maybe he was a plant that she had
encouraged to tell his story so that she could agree with it. But I knew that all I was going to get out
of this group would be bits and pieces of a much larger story.
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